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A few words for the husbands and fathers out there....
Posted by
sHooter
,
28 October 2011
·
111 views
In the 34 years I've been married I've learned a few simple things that changed everything.
You probably know by now that loving marriage has ebbs and flows over time with so many pressures and distractions from the simple truth "I love you". I was a pretty shitty husband for about the first 15 years until I figured out that it wasn't the big things that made her happy. It was the little things. A simple passing touch. A whispered kindness in the ear. Doing a load of laundry or cooking a meal for the family. Listening to her rant about how shitty the world sometimes treats her and then telling her it was gonna be ok cuz she's the greatest....to me. This list may be slightly different for you, but in my experience that is what women need most of all. Lather, rinse, repeat
No matter what the current psycho-babble flavor of the week take on marriage and family is the underlying truth is the same as it has been for 5,000 years. That's not to say that we can repeat this to our wives. We simply must live this...We are husbands and fathers which means we lead the family by example and action whether we recognize it or not. Anger never instructs; loving kindness does. What we say and do matters more than we know to our wives and children. Our attention to the needs, both physical and emotional, of our families IS what nurtures and protects them, and ourselves, from harm.
There is a line from the film Titanic. Yes it is rather trite but nevertheless holds great meaning to me. I'm paraphrasing here "He saved my life in all the ways a life can be saved." If I could condense it down to one line that would be the line to describe how I feel, after spending my life with her, about my wife and friend. I'm pretty sure she feels, in her way, the same way.
I'm still a pretty shitty husband at times, but I don't believe my wife would think so. And, I do just about anything I want.
I hope you don't think me condescending in telling you what you already know. These things bear repeating when we're so frightened that we've lost our way. Get back on track and remember who you are to these people.
You probably know by now that loving marriage has ebbs and flows over time with so many pressures and distractions from the simple truth "I love you". I was a pretty shitty husband for about the first 15 years until I figured out that it wasn't the big things that made her happy. It was the little things. A simple passing touch. A whispered kindness in the ear. Doing a load of laundry or cooking a meal for the family. Listening to her rant about how shitty the world sometimes treats her and then telling her it was gonna be ok cuz she's the greatest....to me. This list may be slightly different for you, but in my experience that is what women need most of all. Lather, rinse, repeat
No matter what the current psycho-babble flavor of the week take on marriage and family is the underlying truth is the same as it has been for 5,000 years. That's not to say that we can repeat this to our wives. We simply must live this...We are husbands and fathers which means we lead the family by example and action whether we recognize it or not. Anger never instructs; loving kindness does. What we say and do matters more than we know to our wives and children. Our attention to the needs, both physical and emotional, of our families IS what nurtures and protects them, and ourselves, from harm.
There is a line from the film Titanic. Yes it is rather trite but nevertheless holds great meaning to me. I'm paraphrasing here "He saved my life in all the ways a life can be saved." If I could condense it down to one line that would be the line to describe how I feel, after spending my life with her, about my wife and friend. I'm pretty sure she feels, in her way, the same way.
I'm still a pretty shitty husband at times, but I don't believe my wife would think so. And, I do just about anything I want.
I hope you don't think me condescending in telling you what you already know. These things bear repeating when we're so frightened that we've lost our way. Get back on track and remember who you are to these people.
